Wah seh..

Sianz...first time tu lang at work sia...argh...feel beri the shag...do mi record again.... 5 mappings...than 4 in 2 hours plus time like tat~~ super busy sia..Than yesterday i abit tok rubbish i think, but i really miss her so. haiz...Wat to do when this happens....Today 31st le....1month when i met jess le....got something for her again, but dunno how to pass to her. Last week neber met her. hope next week can ba...
This week dunno got do OT work anot...i put thursday than friday and saturday off......so the time i still dunno she got anot to meet mi..beri the miss her now, now i at home nothing to do...see her online le...but thinking yesterday i toking rubbish...........haiz...i think i bath le than tok to her ba... Sayo`!

beri late le...

Sianz...now 5.22pm le...later have to go to work. Than still very tired and no mood now... just now the last thing i remmeber was jas sms mi that jess's bf comming to the outing .....i ji tao sianz than go back to slp le. haiz......i dun wanna feel jealous when i go. So better is i at home jealous. If see them outside i tink i dunno what i do and ½ way missing le. Sianzzz..
Now no appetitite to eat again.....see the fried rice at mi table here....put in mi mouth i also taste nothing. no one love me. i gotta physco myself again. Even if theres hope in me one day, But always its me whoes onesided. i hate meself for tat.

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Back at home le~

Now 10.54am le....just bath finish ...today go clementi, ginza play lan, arcade ...etc OH Ya....today a bit rushing...but a bit for nothing....morning i go collect mi cert at MOE, than rush down to jurong east....si bei stress than i dunno wat happen...only know now i got an mp3 player le... $ 188 dollars...dunno wat am i doing ....maybe my thinking is got music at less wun so stress after that techno~~
Than actually suppose to meet jess they all de...but canceled, than i go out alone, jio daniel out than rode in his bike go here and there...not bad la today...at least time is quite occupied le...Than now is waiting waiting waiting...dunno jess when will be home.. dun wanna disturb her...hope she have fun at her CCA the bbq.
Than now i roting at home again le...mi record haben break....max record is 5 day neber slp...now 3rd day le....so i dunno today can sleep anot. hope can ba...Now mi mind thinking of how and what i should do. Hope all goes smoothly le~

Sianz...at ginza lan shop....yesterday neber sleep...today outing wif jess canceled......hmm.....wish her happy times at her bbq ba... :| sianz...than now planning where to go...later maybe go chiong ...jio adrian out..since his last day in singapore.....hmmmm...than maybe have some fun tonight ba...hmmm hmmm hmmm....where should i go... MU, rush, china black or zouk and ...dunno le...sianz...

Anything sms mi ba...sayo !~!~!~!~

3.50am liaoz

Sianz...cannot sleep again...stupid insomia~~ haiz..just now lie at bed dunno thinking of wat. Think of alot of things than think of what jessie said when she says not to smoke cause she wun have a chance to love me anymore. But now the more i tink of it, the more i smk. Tonight i smoke the most stick i did in my life.
What to do as days passed, i have to plan. planning really makes me stress, but know what i have to do tommorrow than hope everything goes on smoothly ba. If not, i just have to accept it and carry on thus moving forward.
Than think i go see animation le...hope i get tired and doze off ba~~

Wah seh..waste time sia~~

Seh man! 9.40pm liaoz lor...i power lor@_@....lol..sianz ...its either i go chiong, or else stay at home play game liaoz...outside nothing better to do also le~ Than think i stay home play battlefield ba >,< haha

Hmmmm...sianz man..dunno tomolo doing wat also..wanna go out sia~! Friday!!!! :D yawnz ah~!~!~ now teach jas create blogger (adding pics) than see ba got time again than i write into here again le~~

Future

Now i planning me future le...but dunno still got who will be inside...for love, really hope it will be her, but than ...ehhhhhhhhh....... than than than than than than ... now is study, try to fight a bit for her.

Now 9.39am liaoz...dam tired...think i complete mi blog and than tell jessie i go orh orh le.... wish her get well soon...~~ missed her beri much and wanted to see her. Hope this day arrive soon ba...see her like ma chiam every stress go away le~ haha... okie le...end blogger ba~! sayo~ !!!!

Back at home le nehx

Wah ....damn tired sia..break record at work again...6 mappings sia!~ wan mi die sia..~!~!~ :| now adding new tag board liaoz...hope it works~~ :D

On the way home sms jessie...than now she sick sia...haiz....mi baby sick than now i worry le...hope she feels much more better later, Than really miss her, wanna love her wanna hold her, hug her, kiss her, but tthink not ba...arghhhhh...wat am i saying again....eh...go orh le~

Yawnzz

Heya....listening to song right now...now 2.27pm liaoz....later gotta go work..haiz sianz man...than now toking to jess on the msn. A bit jealous liaoz but must Ren~! than o bored sia...nothing to do. Yesterday go bugis there buy clothes than meet wendy pass her her b.day gift.
I can know i 100% forget her le...best of friends now..only i know who and wat i wan. but life is so unfair sometimes so all i wanna do now is confuse myself sometimes and show other pple i am happy.
Yesterday at bugis also playyed alot of DDR to tired miself up. about 6 credits or more ba...4get liaoz..Den now dunno wat to do...take a step at a time liaoz le...haiz..

Sianz

Sunday and i gotta work...a bit sick than wanna take mc the clinic all close sia....a bit floating on air liaoz.....than jessie go meet her bf, i stay home be good boy i tink...sianz man...
Life is so unpredicable...so wat ever happens i just gotta accept it~ mi blogger a bit siao liaoz...think i changing soon le....sianz man.....anything i update here ba~

WOOOOOOOOohoooooooooooooooo

HAHA...drank a bit of beer just now (BIT) than tired man...but now l at home type bloggy le~~ :P hehehehe........hmmmmm.....drink beer best is wun go and think so much~ haha...but than like riot leh mi...a bit of super high liaoz...last time i drank was 3-4 months ago when xintian treat mi like dirt.....

But now i happy than i drink de~~ oh ya!! cut moi hair nehx!! attached a pic here liaoz :P si bei cute de lehx mi~ :P :P :P heheheeeh ...okie le.....time to orh orh liaoz le...tigger drunk liaoz...later hop hop around like siao liaoz :P hehe~ tata!

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..........................O.o

Ah sianz ah..boring nothing to do....what to do now wif my life....love = no plans
work = quiting soon School= coming soon Nothing to do le....haiz...singapore si bei boring sia...somemore no one to pei mi. For jessie the case is sad cause shes attached, bo bian i can't do anything either so just she bu de to let go, but its over i tink. So now concentrate on other things ba....Sui Yuan fen le....see fate ba...let mi meet the gal i love.

But anyway...........just now slp at the company, now quite awake so later i tink go out le...than sunday see can take mc anot :P hehehe...sianz liaoz go work. Than than than hope today is a fun day for mi ba...or else sianz...but think most probably is go bugis jump mi DDR liaoz.~~ haha

ARGH~~!!!!!!!!!!1

Arghh...love life also fail le.... but now i wanna concentrate on one thing...tat is mi future, what am i suppose to do...then wat can i do...now i going to bath le than go out gather more info liaoz..cannoot ta han everyday stress of mi future de...maybe and most prob is go study mdis liaoz~~~

No more

Yar....no more again...just as i expected from the start. now the time is 2.21pm le... Jessie just told me to give up....but unwilling i am, i lost again. A battle tat will be lost. Anyway, used to being like tat. After 1 week of pple liking me, i guess its just me destiny to lose everyone i ever love ba.
She wants me to give up i got no choice. Guess now i have to be a single sailor again ba...."Somebody" u there? u happy now~? huh~?! now i lost another.. u got a chance,,,so u happy now~? U reading this just sms mi now or never. I am sick and tired of this le....
I not gonna love any more if i am single for 10 days le.... Hope...i have no more hope i guess..sad and lonely i am. no gal will ever love mi de. As for jessie....Thanz for being my fren ba...

And for ur sms...about me wun be alone. i can only tell u tat i have been living my life alone. its not ur fault tat u tell mi u like me...its just tat i myself get involve in this one sided love. I know u wun love me from the start as i can feel ur love for ur bf. i am trying to fight, but i am in despair. so only can wish u and ur bf the best and hope u 2 will be together forever ba. for mi, dun worry for mi ba...if u worry more i will be more in love wif u de. so just as frens, maybe so. Think wun be seeing u for movie as u just sms mi tat. so tats it than....i got no choice le. Than take care ba~

Life will be Happy if i have her~

6am woke up, thinking of wat i should do. Than while thinking, i doze off and wake up at 11am plus le...Hmmmm..Tok to jessie about tat somebody thingy, But she said that "somebody" is not her also...I checked the ip of "somebody" and "chiyo" its the same ip address...i was 80% sure that she was the one. But than...haiz...she says shes not the one. Guess later not going to visit her before i go to work le...haiz~

Than dunno will she read this anot, if u reading this...hope u can understand. I really love u, i will try anything for u de~ Only hope u will be mine than i'll be the most luckiest man alive le. I know u love ur bf but it pains me just to think u 2 are together and why not me~ feel like pressuring u to choose, but than again, i can't bear to see u upset about it. Being with u outside, i will have the mood to do anyrhing rather than wif mi frens.

Sorry i could not say this words to u on the phone just now, But wat i writing down here is from the bottom of mi heart. I really want u, i really need u, Hope we can be together in the fast future. Maybe soon u accept mi, maybe not even accept. But just want u to be happy. If u do not want me, i can only hold me heart and say no problem and have a smile on ur face. As long u have a smile on ur face, Everything i do for u will at least have a worth to it~

To that "somebody" the case, i guess i already dun wan to go into it le. Since this "somebody" says tat loves me, and doesn't even contact me, I guess i will go smk more ba. Unless this person tells me who i am, i guess i will smk more and more.

Life has no colours

Haiz...life has no colours without jessie...went out wif adrain than reach bugis at 3pm like tat....i draw draw draw, till i sms jessie where is she...a bit sad and moody, i mistake her sis(older) for her also....than beri sianz is she not wif mi.
The whole day i dunno y like lifeless. Than from 3pm wait till i think 7pm like tat,Raymond than came down ba~....than wait wait wait..eat eat eat...till 8pm go arcade i dance ddr dunno wat lai de..quite fun cause techno type~den tired, sms ruishan i not going to chiong le...beri the tired, Than at 11pm i go home le...reach home just only..now 12 liaoz..haiz...jessie not online....
Now i know para para sakura the show meaning le...life without ur love is colourless...never see her today i really regret it. I really sux in relationship. ONly hope tat this one will not die. Giving the best fight i gonna go~ So wish mi luck...i think i need alot, flood mi wif it ba~

YawnzZ

Eh...omg...its only 4.50am in the morning. the only thing i remember was i was dreaming of a sad dream. Than now wake up feeling so weird. Than thinking of later meeting jessie, my heart will jump here and there. But knowing she will be wif her bf in the afternoon, My heart goes banging on the wall like tat.
To go or not to go. i should flip mi lucky coin to decide. *flick*~ and it tolds mi not to go. I think i just stay home first. Wait till someone will call mi out for chat or anything ba..time to go smk. Sorry. trying to escape again.

I'm such a crazy guy

Eh. just now go out wif jessie,jasmine,charlene,lena,kexin,and jas's stead(pai seh forget name always)" than starting a bit scared cause lena and jas having war..but later on not long they patch up as frens again le~ yipeee~~ :D

Than we walk alot of places, shop for their frenz b.day present~ than all finish, i send jessie home.... i dunno wat i was thinking. A bit selfish i am but when her bf message...i was like heart broken than a bit of envy her bf,thinking y din i met jessie earlier so that she will be in love wif mi in the first place....Haiz love really really gives mi headache sometimes but i will still continue loving jessie untill mi heart dies out. When will it be? i dunno just follow mi heart now. Dun dare to make anymore mistakes and wish i wun ever~~

At the bus, gave jessie the necklace i bought and hope she likes it beri much, shes the second girl that at least accept mi gifts~ hope she likes it ba~~ hmmm...dunno 2 much le...now to tok about tat somebody, Who is it? i dunno..making mi confused all over. I just hope tat "somebody" just message mi and tell mi who in the world will like mi one.

IF tat "somebody",(you) reading this, message mi asap ba.. i dun wan this sort of thing to happen okie~? now is 12.30am le...a bit cannot sleep cause thinking of jessie...so i tink i'll think about the future and plan wats gonna happen and get ready for anything tats gonna happen.

Tomolo dunno wats gonna happen...feel like meeting jessie, but know she 12 in the afternoon meeting her bf....so if morning i go i surely headache than whole day think tink tink about later on sure i jealous de~ so think i better not go ba~? will she miss mi alot by then? think not also ba~~ btw to those reading this. I tend to be the guy tat thinks no one will ever like/love mi de. Also am i the type that likes to predict the future. To my now prediction ish tat jessie and her bf will live happily ever after while i will not be the one wif her....hope tat i am wrong but tats the future la.

Time to get ready to use superglue to secure mi heart and act as a beri "happy" person and "cool" guy again tat have no worries de~ PEACE! :P

Am i the guy??

Hmm...yesterday go out wif adrain to fmss...haha...tok to Mr hao wor..the discipline master last time...fun and he become lao bengz liaoz le..than tok quite alot wif mr hao wor~
Than after tat we go to orchard delfi i go see wat thingy about prize..haha..a watch and a free booking hotel to puket 8days 7nights de..but still if go must get the tickets to phuket la~~ haha..
Anyway...going jurong eat tat time, fun messaging jessie :D hehe...everyday i find her more and more attractive and ke ai....:P loving her more and more everyday..than everyday wanna love her, everything else like doesn't matter le~ Hope can win her heart one day ba~ i dun wish much but hope can be happy wif her all the way and dun wish our relationship will last forever~!!
Than night time tok finish to her le i go slp...haha..got dream of her wor!!! :P kekeke..dream of holding her hand walk walk..although blury is the dream, but i know i had a good and romantic time wif her. :D Woke up at 6plus wor!! haha :P than wait for her at the internet...fix a bit of mi com problem than saw her online i beri the happpyy!! :D:D:D:D:D:D hhehehehee now chatting wif her le :P tata~!

Crazy~? haha..

Hmmmm...have a good chat wif jessie...than knows she loves her bf beri much..sad for mi but i happy for her can le...but i wun be so depress anymore le..i just see and hope...as long as shes not married i still have a chance.

Meanwhile, i'll still be the lonely xiao boi aka bengz...lolx...also dunno la...i'm tigger and i wanna be happy....so i tink i occupy miself wif activities ba i tink....hmmmmmmm off till sunday...dunno wat to do nehx! first thing now is to play play play ba...

Hope i dun tink so much again than i will smk more again....only happy to know that jessie got say she interested in mi..but still cannot....loves her bf. so nothing i can do to wish her happiness and good luck, no chance for mi i dun mind..see her happy face i already happy. But somewhere in mi heart i know as shes not mine, its weeping. but i will try to overcome it by making it tink happy thoughts de...~~ so hope i be happy happy happy tigger ba~~!!

Even if i know who i like~~

Its very confusing for mi last night at work...i really dunno wat to do about this problem anymore le...i know i lurve her, i miss her, i wanna be there for her, but one thing issh she is attached and i feel she treating mi as a fren and dun love mi back de.....

The fear of my heart is just 2 great. even if shes mine, the fear of her leaving mi and everything make me wanna breakdown le. What to do...shes still in lurve wif her stead. I dun wanna make her so pressured by keep telling her i lurve her de. Think even if it hurts in my heart, i cannot go and chase her i tink.

Love is very terrible. i know i cannot have been so lucky enough to have a true love so soon. But seeing my frens and all.. i really feel headache enough just to see them happy while feeling jealous.

Only know the only thing i doing now is to smoke my life away, having twice as much and i must Ren my heart. i dun wan things to end in a terrible way like my previous. I have no hopes but just wan her to be happy can le ~ As long shes happy, i'll be happy. So now i take mi broken heart and hide it so no one can see it~

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I know i lurve who le~ :D

Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! hehehehhee...tats wats going all in mi mind now le :P nothing else matters cause.... Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!! Tigger lurves Piglet~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tigger back home at 2.32am

Today went ktv wif lena,jessie,jasmine and her 2 frens...not bad la...fun but i sore throat so cannot sing much..than dunno y i really really in lurve wif her le....but dunno wat to do...shes attached but i cannot be so evil to try break them up de....
Haiz sianz...hope to see her smiling face when meet out can le...be it she dun like mi also can de...she happy i happy...tats all ba...Dun wanna go chase her than she stress out than in the end i tink will not have a good ending de. Now can only be her tigG3r, its already good enough for mi ...for now.~~
Den...she now treat mi as fren only so i cannot do anything de....i really hate 4ling in love sometimes than always i single side lurve again....i really hate miself sometimes...lurve pple and the person wun love back de... sianz diaoz~ go slp le ba~

TigG3r~!!!

Hmmmm...let mi seee...its 4.36am liaoz nehx!! wahhhhh siao liao lor!! cannot slp sia~~ haha hmmmmmmm....tink i ji tao dun slp la~ later cannot wake up i pai seh one if like a pig slp :P

Than think tomolo i go early down at somerset draw draw ba...suddenly got the mood to draw le.....anyway, just now in the afternoon, went out wif adrian and than he started the drawing...not bad but he needs to pratice a bit more than ji tao wow liaoz le~~ Than we at jurong draw ma...haha...the jurong east masscot down there wor!! kinda like cats now le :P come come i put a image below let u all see :P heheh cats are cute, dogs are cute~ am i cute?? YoZ! tigGer issh cute!! :P heheeh :P

Hmmmm..Anyway, so late le...just now play roseonline liaoz...be a cute mage.~ then i tink now i go see the windytales the animation la~ about than should be time to bath than set out to some cafe and draw draw le... lolx...i siao hor~! :D

For love side ah....hmmmmmmmmm....still no plans yet ba i tink..but who i love i know le, so if shes happy then okie le ba..i dun force pple to love mi and just let it be first. Than i tink i still be the happy go lucky ba~i am tigGer but hope i dun lose mi tail again le..~~~ Hmmmmmmm let mi see ah...oh ya~! i like being tigGer, cause i tat time like to play DDr than basket ball...but lost mi tail and no more of tat. got try la...but mi leg ji tao cannot make it le~~ hahah :P sometimes jump for the sake of fun only and to keep myself occupied~ :D okie ...next time than write le~!
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Yawnz~!!

Hmm....today went to zhizongs house go settle his internet thing and teach him how to dl stuffz...anyway, last night at work quite busy...neber expected it sia~~ than neber slp...but dunno y so de jin shen sia~! lolx.....work is a worm...at home is a dragon wor mi` :P
Than wah..think i go and watch mi movie wimbelton liaoz le...take care!~ :D happy as always, its a brand new mi...a happy go lucky~!!
Hope which gal like mi, better tell mi wor!! dun let mi get snatch away wor! :P dun tell ji tao i dunno know one hor..!! mai Tu liaoz.~! quick take action wor! :P lololx...~ hehehehe~

LOL~~

Hahaha....hmmmmm..now 6pm plus le....as the new mi, i dun think of sad things de...for xintian case....she come online i sure flood her till she reply de lor~! lolx.....ahhahaha....i am a xiao bengz wif a gangster attitude but dun go find trouble unless someone pissed mi off la~~ lolx..... btw...if pple jio mi go cwp i dun mind le...see xintian = see lor...but i wun go ji siao her la...lolx...i not so bad de....than she wan she can hello mi and i the most hi back nia....nothing de~~


So.....Take care everyone.....i'm a happi happi guy now...life is so free~! :D